So Life has been so dramatic lately.. More like I am making it dramatic but that's unfortunate and (I wish it wasnt). I have been stressing alot about school and being unemployed and stuggling to be a good wife. Being a newlywed is tough sometimes! Going from living on your own or with your parents systems to combining households of two diffrent families you never relize the silly things people will do that drive you crazy. Such as not putting up dishes or not helping you when you think they should. Marraige is best served with good communication which can sometimes be tough. But lately alot of the issues are my own such as when will i finish school, can I finish school? and this has been overflowing into a lot of areas of my life. Such as jealousy. You know how the grass is always greener on the other side. Sometimes I just want to be on the other side. But then I have to remember how blessed my life truly is. Yes were young newlyweds which mean not alot of cash flow. But so far we both have our health a truely wonderfull blessing since health insurances is way overpriced. and we both love eachother emensly. we have a roof over our head and food on the table what more can a person really ask for? well you would be suprised.
Lately i have been dealing with this. I want what I think I want not what I need. I see alot of girls with Fancy diamond rings twice the size of mine or nicer cars and newer clothing and I think that be so nice! But the fact is would I really be happy going into debt for THAT?!?! NO!!! I could have asked for a biger ring but I LOVE mine and besides how would i feel if I lost a ring that I couldnt afford? Since I was young have have wittnesed frivoulus spending and always thought if you need a down payment for jewelery you have it all wrong. I dont want a ring we cant afford because would that really represent us? Besides we can always upgrade one day which is far nicer then going into a marraige in debt. I am proud to say the only debt we have is student loans and a car payment. (2 of the 3 things the church says is ok for debt the other being a house). I have wittnesed the damage debt brings to a marraige and to a family and I would never wish that on anyone. I grew up with people thinking I had more then I really did and its hard explaining I live in a big house I have fancy jewerly (which I paid for in CASH and am VERY proud of). and yet we cant afford to go out for diner. I realize everything my family gave me was out of love and how they knew how to express it but I am learning Love is not about giving monetary gifts its about keeping true to who you are and what you have to give the best gift being your heart. Adams smiple gifts are often the ones that make me smile the most and on the plus side they come without guilt of how much money we spent. I hope and pray that Adam and I will be blessed enough to remeber these lessons and carry them with us for the rest of our lives and that my children will fallow in the example. because Money CAN and WILL damaged relationships when used incorrectly.
I also dont want anyone to think I am attacking them for maybe spending more then they have on a an item but I am just sharing my opinion coming from having experianced the hardships debt can bring. I just wish people would listen to me I may only be 23 but I have good experiance and advice to share. I admit though sometimes my methods seem harsh and I am sorry about that it is something I am working on. ( I wish I could be suzie homemaker always smiling!) but the fact is i am fisety Leo who sometimes needs to learn to tone things down and thats another one of the things I am dealing with. So what do I do? Just keep going to Temple keep your eyes on the eternal plan and pray pray pray for strength to do what is right.
that being said I LOVE going to temple! ( who would have ever thought?) and in the past month I have been twice and plan on going again this week :D
peace and Love
~Sara
No comments:
Post a Comment